Kosher Sex: The Rituals of Orthodox Jewish Sexuality

The process whereby a man and woman meet, become acquainted with each other and decide whether they are suitable for each other, is not only common sense — it’s actually mandated by Jewish law. The Talmud stipulates that it is forbidden for a man to marry a woman until he meets her and she finds favor in his eyes, and a woman is not to be married until she is mature enough to make an intelligent decision with regards to her proposed husband. The prospective bride and groom must meet beforehand and both must be fully comfortable with each other and must give their full consent to the match. That said, according to Jewish tradition, dating plays a very specific role. Dating is viewed as a serious matter and is not intended for entertainment purposes. Dating is reserved for mature men and women who have reached marriageable age and are actively seeking their life mate. The restrictions on dating do not stem from old-fashioned prudishness. Rather they are a key ingredient in the creation of stable marriages between compatible spouses. The focus of a date is to determine whether this person one is seeing has the qualities and values which will allow the two of them to live together harmoniously and happily for the rest of their lives. Hence, successful dating is an art; it requires the mind to take control of a domain which traditionally and instinctively belongs to the heart.

The best dating sites and apps

Please refresh the page and retry. Even as lockdown restrictions start to lift, and we can meet prospective partners in the park or soon the pub, dating apps still have a part to play. As the internet plays an ever greater part in our social lives, with sites such as Facebook helping us to keep in touch with our friends, it’s inevitable that we use it to help run our love lives as well.

Modern matchmaking service, eHarmony, claims over half a million couples have found love through their site. Synonymous with online dating, Match. Create a detailed profile, then find your potential partner through a criteria search.

While same-sex marriage is largely accepted in the religion, most rabbis refuse to marry interfaith couples, even as they publicly recognize their.

View Larger Image. Synopsis: Offering Jewish women practical guidelines on how to balance their religious identity with the challenges of dating, an expert on dating offers advice on everthing from traditional marriage to sex, addressing such topics as inter-religious dating, dealing with family expectations, keeping kosher at trendy restaurants, sexual experimentation, and more.

Book Description Perigee Trade. Condition: Good. Seller Inventory Q05J More information about this seller Contact this seller. Add to Basket. Book Description Perigee Trade, Condition: GOOD. Has little wear to the cover and pages. Contains some markings such as highlighting and writing.

65, Single and Looking: A Practical Guide to Dating After 50

It turns out that many young adult members of the Boston Jewish community are thinking quite seriously about this question. I was raised to be a strong, independent, capable woman. My healthiest long-term relationships have been with recovering Catholics and practicing Unitarians. Do I want to raise my children Jewish?

would think that Jews must talk about premarital sex fairly often. Also does it commodify their bodies into objects to be “sold” on the competitive dating market​?

Some of these prohibitions such as those related to homosexuality , while still observed by Orthodox Jews , are currently observed to a lesser extent or not at all by some of the non-Orthodox movements. Adultery is prohibited by the seventh of the Ten Commandments Exodus which says simply:. It is forbidden for a man to have sexual relations with a married woman not his wife.

Leviticus , A man is not allowed to have sexual relations with a woman—including his wife—during and after her menstrual period Leviticus , until after she immerses in a mikveh. A woman who has experienced her menstrual period and has not gone to a proper mikveh is referred to as a niddah. Religious intermarriage is forbidden in Judaism. There are differing opinions among the rabbis as to when the prohibition on sexual relations with non-Jews is from the Torah, and when it is rabbinic.

Sexual relations with certain close relatives are forbidden in the Hebrew Bible. Though they are generally called incestuous relations , the biblical list does not necessarily correspond to those prohibited under state laws. In addition to the relationships biblically prohibited to Jews, rabbis have gone further to prohibit additional relationships with various blood relatives or in-laws.

Goy Seeking Girl: Why People Pretend To Be Jewish On JDate

Please only sign up if you can attend both sessions. The pandemic has forced most single people to push pause on their sex lives. Rabbi Aaron leads a two-part series that will cover topics from casual sex to ghosting to pornography. Participants will receive a zoom link to the virtual class in their confirmation email, 48 hours, 2 hours, and 10 minutes before the class begins. Add to Calendar.

*Any request to take the exam on a date other than the one scheduled must be April 30 – Issues in Jewish Dating 2: Hooking up, non-marital sex and.

Spiegelman grew up attending a Reform synagogue in Andover, Mass. Donnelly was raised a Roman Catholic. The two women attend Jewish and Catholic services together, and they had hoped to find marriage officiants from both religions, which they did not think would be difficult. So one Sabbath morning, they approached the rabbi at their Boston-area synagogue, a liberal congregation unaffiliated with any particular branch of Judaism. But the rabbi told them that she could not perform the wedding.

The problem was not that Ms. Spiegelman wanted to marry a woman — it was that she wanted to marry a non-Jewish woman. Spiegelman said. And it really hurt us to be rejected for that reason. But for Jews, troubled by declining levels of affiliation, the concern about interfaith marriage is strong. A majority of Jews now marry outside the faith, and, according to the major Pew survey of Jewish identification , millennials with one Jewish parent are far less likely to consider themselves Jewish than those with two Jewish parents.

So while other American religious groups, like the Episcopal Church, are tearing themselves apart over same-sex marriage, that front is relatively calm for Jews — who are, by contrast, exercised about intermarriage. For rabbis in particular, being pro-gay but unwilling to perform interfaith marriages is common.

Bushnell Explores Dating After 50

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Twice I’ve been in serious relationships with Jewish men who’ve said my For the first few of the years I was dating these men, the fact that I was not Jewish rarely came up. Those seeking casual sex will miss you.

In Jewish law , sex is not considered shameful, sinful or obscene. Sex is not thought of as a necessary evil for the sole purpose of procreation. Although sexual desire comes from the yetzer ra the evil impulse , it is no more evil than hunger or thirst, which also come from the yetzer ra. Like hunger, thirst or other basic instincts, sexual desire must be controlled and channeled, satisfied at the proper time, place and manner.

But when sexual desire is satisfied between a husband and wife at the proper time, out of mutual love and desire, sex is a mitzvah. Sex is permissible only within the context of a marriage. In Judaism, sex is not merely a way of experiencing physical pleasure. It is an act of immense significance, which requires commitment and responsibility. The requirement of marriage before sex ensures that sense of commitment and responsibility.

Jewish law also forbids sexual contact short of intercourse outside of the context of marriage, recognizing that such contact will inevitably lead to intercourse. The primary purpose of sex is to reinforce the loving marital bond between husband and wife. The first and foremost purpose of marriage is companionship, and sexual relations play an important role.

Jewish Sexual Ethics for Single People

What do women need to know about men, Jewish men in particular? Hmm, tricky. But, as a divorced and remarried dad of three, I clearly have a unique perspective in the field of gender difference. So here are my own 13 crucial pointers. Food, it hardly needs saying, is a favourite of Jewish homo erectus.

Only dating Jews feels too limiting to me and even potentially She wrote The Debrief, JewishBoston’s weekly column about sex, dating and.

Aug 21 1 Elul Torah Portion. On an intuitive level, I believe that intimacy should be reserved for a husband and wife. But on a philosophical level, I have no good reason to explain why to friends or my children! Can you help me articulate what I am feeling? Judaism understands that the family unit is the key to the psychological health of children, and the stability of society as a whole. To ensure the preservation of that family unit, Jewish law places boundaries on human sexuality.

Historically, those societies that did not adhere to such sexual boundaries eventually broke down and failed. Philosophers explain that when human nature is undisciplined by values, physical drives will dominate his life and the life of society. When Judaism demanded that all sexual activity be channeled into marriage, it changed the world. It is not overstated to say that the Torah’s prohibition of non-marital relations made the creation of Western civilization possible.

In contrast to other societies, where sexuality is a function of pleasure secular or procreation Christianity , Judaism considers sexuality a mechanism to bond with one’s spouse. This powerful tool aids a couple in their life goal of self-perfection. A human being can only achieve perfection through a marriage with the opposite gender, because only by the joining of opposites — male and female — can this bonding occur.

A New Tool for Jewish Educators to Address Sexual Harassment

In the Torah, God promises Abraham more children than there are stars in the sky and grains of sand in the sea. But those children do tend to congregate — New York has the highest Jewish population of any city in the world other than Tel Aviv — higher, even, than Jerusalem. Some of us are stars, and some of us are just beach dirt, and never is that more evident than when dating. As a straight Jewish woman dating mostly Jews in New York City, I crowd-sourced this list from personal experience and from other young Jews who are dating or used to date in the city — male and female, gay and straight, single and married.

Rabbi Shira leads an intimate discussion carnal knowledge, using text study to explore the ethics of dating, sex, and everything else between the sheets.

Not true. All jokes aside, there are lots of stereotypes that claim Jewish girls are prudes, and therefore bad in bed. Whatever their level of observance, I feel like I can discuss sex with my Jewish friends, have fun, and not be judged. Bad-ass women like Esther, Miriam, Vashti, and yes, Lilith , are empowering — even sexy. Of course, I can and have sexualized a bowl of Szechuan noodles, so I had to check in with a couple of other sex-positive Jews to get the dirty not shameful!

When Beruriah found out that she was tricked, she was furious and committed suicide, while Meir exiled himself in shame. Morbid as this story seems, Hartman feels it sends an important feminist message. It balances the power dynamic. Seeing a woman pissed off, smashing glasses… that makes her real. Of course, ultimately, most religious texts are still written by the patriarchy, for the patriarchy.

But if you read between the lines, you can find feminist messages everywhere.

Gender-Based and Sexual Violence

For more observant Jews, foregoing foreskin is just one of many rules and customs that govern how and when a couple can canoodle. And while the Torah Part I of the Bible for all you goyem does make certain prescriptions for how and when you get to know each other biblically, certain cultural customs vary between — and often within — sects. No matter where they may or may not stand on Christ, fans of the the Old Testament and New join ranks with just about every religious sect by disapproving of premarital sex.

Orthodoxy, like Christians, Muslims, and other Judaic sects, dictates abstinence before the covenant of marriage

While there are tons of great options for online dating out there, trying to sift through the masses to find a match who shares your Jewish values can be.

Are you hungry? Did you want two bagels stacked with spreads on spreads on spreads,” my mom will ask you when you visit. And twenty minutes after you’ve walked in. And again an hour later. The correct answer is always “yes” and the correct follow-up question is “This must be your mother’s recipe, right? You call that thing from the supermarket a bagel?

More like a nay -gel. Not sorry. A bagel is an experience. A privilege. Your scooped-out bread ball with low-fat cream cheese is offensive to me. Please know I’m going to bitch my way through anything that’s not large and smelly in the best way possible. She’s not fuxing around with kugel. Or brisket.

4 Jewish Dating Sites and Tips

The essay will say more about why I picked this disturbing image. We are talking about Jewish men and sexual transgressions in the aftermath of metoo. He apologized, the woman accepted the apology, he was publically humiliated. While clearly there have been a large number of men who are outside of the Jewish tribe in the headlines, our private game of counting off the Jewish men whose names we have heard in the news went into double overtime. And what about the still fugitive Roman Polanski?

Nonetheless, for traditional Jews, premarital sex is not without halakhic (legal) complication. The Torah prohibits sex between a man and a woman who is.

The Torah does not outlaw it — as it does many other types of sexual relationships — and the child of such a union is not considered a mamzer illegitimate. Nonetheless, marital sex is considered ideal, and premarital sex is traditionally not approved of. The negative attitude toward premarital sex, to a large degree, reflects the overwhelmingly positive attitude toward sex within marriage.

When sex is reserved for marriage, it too is considered holy. Most Jewish authorities disapprove of premarital sex because it does not take place within the context of kiddushin. What of a long-term committed sexual relationship in which two people — though not married — have designated each other as their exclusive partner? This question has been raised by some liberal Jewish thinkers; however, both the Conservative and Reform movement officially reject the possibility of attributing kedushah holiness to such a relationship.

As mentioned, the Torah does not directly prohibit premarital sex. In medieval Spain, Nahmanides permitted sex with an unmarried woman who was not involved with another man. Nonetheless, for traditional Jews, premarital sex is not without halakhic legal complication.

Sex with Jewish girl costs Arab man 18 months in Israeli jail